Book_3Age_WilliamSadler.jpg The Third Age

Six principles for growth and renewal after forty by William A Sadler, Perseus Publishing, New York, 2000

This book is based on many years of working with people undergoing significant personal transformations. According to the author, it is written for those who want to "discover, understand and develop a growth process that will transform the entire second half of their lives". Sadler talks about re-generation, second growth and the need for a new model.

The book is developed around six paradoxical principles. According to Sadler, we in the West are not used to thinking in terms of paradoxes; we tend to want to resolve things, to have one single thing be true. But Sadler finds this Eastern perspective useful in understanding the challenges of the second half of our lives.

One of Sadler's paradoxes is the need to be both optimistic and realistic. His observation is that at 50 or 60 most of us are more accustomed to being realistic than optimistic. He quotes Dante at the beginning of the Divine Comedy describing middle age as "entering a dark forest where the light of youthful hope disappears". And he quotes the modern management guru Tom Peters, "if you're not confused, you're not paying attention".

But well founded realism - after all, we are not the same at 50 as at 20 as Dante point out and we do live, as Peters indicates, in challenging and uncertain times - need not banish a "grown-up" kind of optimism. This optimism is not the same as wishful thinking. It is not even positive thinking. It is being tough, responsible and hopeful.

Sadler's brand of 'realistic optimism' is thinking about how things could work out despite difficulties and set backs. It is no tragedy, he says, if we fail to realise a particular dream. The tragedy would be if we failed to dream, or failed to respect a dream and act on it.

His suggestions for building the capacity for realistic optimism include developing a willingness to confront the brutal facts and a sense of humour - maybe not in that order. He also uses a phrase that some may prefer instead of 'realistic optimism'. It is 'courageous realism'.

The book is useful for thinking differently about our 50s, 60s and beyond. The five other paradoxes are:

By avoiding the familiar 'to do' lists, the book opens up an opportunity to think about and accept life's contradictions, which may be even more important in our more mature years than they were at earlier ages. Perhaps maturity is being able to live with paradox.